My struggle with weight began when I was around ten years old. I always was an underweight child. When I was 10 I started to slowly pack on the pounds and by the time I was fourteen I was overweight. At that age I am finding my own identity and beginning the journey of adulthood. I hated the way I looked and I hated everything about myself. During the summer of freshman and sophomore year I started to do whatever I needed to loose weight and ended up doing things that were unhealthy. I restricted the amount of food I ate and than worked out like crazy. I started my sophomore year extremely thin and with a very unhealthy eating pattern. This continued all through high school until I was 18 where it progressed to guilt over eating. That guilt turned into binging and purging. I struggled for years with anorexia and bulimia. In my mid to late twenties I finally stopped. I started to exercise and started to gain weight. Because I didn’t do this slowly or with doctors advice I quickly packed on the pounds and it wasn’t until I 30 when I started to realize I pushed and exceeded 200 pounds.
At my Heaviest weight of 255 on my 34 birthday I realized I couldn’t do this anymore. Its 4 months into the new year and I am now 222 pounds. I am learning new ways to eat and exercising. I lost a considerable amount of weight after being diagnosed with diverticulitis and a colon resection due to the severity of it. That with being diagnosed with diabetes in 2015 and back surgery in 2011 I realized I needed to make changes. I don’t know very many individuals my age with these health issues. I am not saying people aren’t sicker I am simply saying these things that I have encountered are making me want to make changes. These changes come with a lot of struggle too.
Weight and body image is prevalent in our society. It really is a driving force behind everything. It is sad that it has come to this and the impact is causing stress. Not only do I sit and struggle personally but I always wonder how my weight effects how people view me professionally. Does it even hold that much weight. Some say it does while others say it doesn’t. For me right now my goal is to be healthier. I don’t want to focus anymore on how people view me. I want to be happy for myself and have the energy and life in me to do what I want to do.
And so ends my post for today….
Stay healthy and stay strong..