a hidden obsession

It is a bad habit, but it’s a habit. Every morning I wake up go into the bathroom for my morning routine. I take my time getting ready, shaving looking in the mirror, scroll through Facebook while I sit on the toilet. You know the usual stuff. I think about my day and all the things I have to do, “Do I work both jobs today…. What am I going to eat for lunch… Is the Kardashians on tonight”. You know the simple stuff. I continue to get ready and leave the bathroom. I pull the scale out from under my bed and I step on it. “GOSH DARN IT, SHOULD HAVE SKIPPED THAT SECOND HELPING”.

If you find yourself doing this I can tell you that you’re not alone. The obsession with weight is real and we all do it in one form or another. This is just one of many bad habits I have with my weight.

I step on and then off again. Hoping for just a minute that the first reading was wrong, I think about what I am wearing and realize I have on nothing. I continue to get dressed now feeling more uncomfortable about my weight than I did before. I feel defeated as I dress and continue to think about my day but now I am thinking more about the food I want to eat but what I should be eating. Food, diet, exercise, it’s all on my mind now and will be for most of the day.

That’s how my obsession may have started with my body and weight when I was younger to, access to the scale is a dangerous thing. We see numbers and immediately think to ourselves that we have to fit into this number or this category. So what do you do? I mean you want to have a scale in your home but do you really want to feed into this obsession of weight? My goal for the next week is to avoid my routine of weighing myself. It is to avoid an obsession with numbers, calories, food intake etc. and just go about my day. In a week from today weigh myself.

Now the reason for avoidance and avoid the obsession is to bring the focus to other things. I feel that when I tend to focus on weight and weight loss it becomes over powering and takes over and before you know I am tearing myself apart with the decisions I make and I am stressing myself out. What do they say is the number one cause for weight gain, STRESS? So I am going to avoid the thing that stresses me and take control of my life. Take away the thing that maybe causing me the most problems right now.

Just a random thought to ponder throughout the day.

 

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